Religiosity

     Well it's here, the holidays. For me and anyone else who is in Retail, it just so happens to be the worst time of the year. Which kind of helps me keep things in some kind of realistic realm. As someone who has never had money, Christmas has really never been about getting stuff. Even when I was a kid, my Mom and Grandma made comments of how I was happy, no matter what or how much I was given.  I was blessed in my childhood to never really have a need for anything. My Mama was always hard working and was always really good with her money, so I never felt cheated or like I grew up poor. I've always been somewhat of a minimalist. I don't really strive for the best of THINGS. I have nice things don't get me wrong, but functionality and cost always come into play when I buy anything. I'm cheap you could say, again probably growing up with a Mom who was raised during the depression.
      Now to my point, the last few years have felt different at the holidays. I grew up very religious. I went to church every Sunday and I was involved in a lot of other aspects of church. I wouldn't changed any of that. I really feel it's made me who I am. During my childhood years, I had some great experiences and built amazing relationships with people that I would have never met otherwise. But as I sit here a 31 year old women, things have changed. My thoughts on church have certainly changed and the way that I experience Christmas is different. At church you are taught to ignore the worldly view of Christmas such as Santa and materialistic things, you focus on Christ's birthday. You have a Christmas program and you light a candle.         
      When I was 17, I met Matt, a nonbeliever and we got serious very quickly and I became pregnant. Soon after I announced to everyone I was pregnant, I left church and didn't really attend much for almost for 10 years. Then Matt, who was raised LDS, but never really participated in the faith, met a pastor and his wife, who invited us to church, we hit it off right away with them and we soon found ourselves knee deep in their church and unfortunately some things happened and I was not interested in a faith where people say they are Christians and treat people so badly. I was officially done with organized religion.   
      As the years have past, I have had deep thoughts and conversations with myself about what this life, God and everything else was meant to be. And it's become so clear to me. After officially stepping away from ALL churches, the guilt of every little sin you make lifts, the logic of religion begins to waiver. Now lets make this clear, I DO, absolutely believe in God, I have looked into the eyes of all three of my children and I've seen Him there. I believe in the supernatural and another realm where our spirits are from and when we are done here, we will return. But I truly believe that all religion is man-made, it's made up by scholars and people in power to control the minds of the masses. For instance, I believe that Jesus was a real man, that is a historical fact, but other than a Great man I see him no different than Gandhi, Buddha or even Muhammad.
     Think of ALL the people in this world as Gods biological children, think of your children, would you tell only one of your children the true way or would you tell them all? There are so many religions and so many ways of life. I don't know about you, but when I see my children, when I think of them, there is NOTHING in life that could make my turn my back on them. There are times when they do things that I don't like and that I might not agree with, but I certainly didn't have children for them to worship me. I want them to live their own life, to find their own way, to think with their amazing minds, which God gave us to think with and make our own decisions, not to be told by someone else what you think.
     To me Dogma is a dirt word. Doing religious rituals to further you walk with God is ridiculous. Going to church every Sabbath, taking communion, baptism, speeching in tongues...step back and think about it. If Children where not exposed to religion and church until an age when they can think of themselves, how many people do you think would be religious? But when you grow up being told this is the norm. This is the true and ONLY way, what choice do you have? Guilt is a huge part to keep people in check, don't question God or you will burn in hell. God is writing down all the sins that you've made your entire life, what would be the purpose? If I wrote down all the "sins" according to the bible that my children have made already in their short lives, that would be a pretty long book, but what would be a good reason to keep those kinds of things? When you are older and think totally different should you be punished for something you did as a child? Asking for forgiveness, is that all I need, right? I don't know it just doesn't add up to me.
      Another thing that bothers me so badly is the thinking that people without religion or a belief in God can't possibly be moral. Morality had absolutely NOTHING to do with it. If anything I have seen more morals from atheists, than Christians. When you are acting a certain way for a reward, is that moral. If you are living your life a certain way, because you are scared of the wrath of God, is that living? I refuse to believe that we are all pawns in a large chest game, between good and evil. My children will have the free choice to believe whatever they chose. Because like I said it's their lives, not mine.

My position concerning God is that of an agnostic. I am convinced that a vivid consciousness of the primary importance of moral principles for the betterment and ennoblement of life does not need the idea of a law-giver, especially a law-giver who works on the basis of reward and punishment.

— Letter to M. Berkowitz, October 25, 1950; Einstein Archive 59-215